Know For Yourself: Don’t Give Up.

{Previously Named: I Got A Job! Giving you highlights from my story!}

Hey There,

I Got A Job! I can’t believe I am saying this but, I got a job! You might think, ‘well what is so great about this news?’ So here is the answer… it’s my first job. I have never had a job in all my twenty-two years of life.

I just didn’t want to settle.

I used to help my mom with her daycare, though I never got paid. She needed the help and I was there, so in retrospect I help my mother out for seven years. I don’t really consider it a job, even though I was basically there as a worker, I didn’t need a job during that time now that I think about it. I could probably, also contribute to being twenty-two and not working till now by the idea that I was pretty lazy.

Pretty Lazy. Then, no one could top me.

I was really lazy and I knew at some point I wanted to not be because God didn’t make me lazy. Now, I didn’t grow up in a family that was rich. No, by far. But, we were well off; consider high-middle class. We had it when we had it and when we didn’t we had family and church friends to help us out.

During my high school years I really wanted a car but then discovered a really ‘disheartened’ catch twenty-two… I needed a car, to drive to work-> I need money to get said car-> I need a job that will pay me money to get said car.

Catch 22 = Car>Money>Job

This catch 22 was so mind-boggling to me then and it still is except this time we have two cars in my little four people family. My, Mama, My Step-Papa, My Sister, and I. My sister started working in November 2014 where God miraculously provided a car which she takes good care of and my mama, well she ‘lost’ her first car and got another one so she’s fine now. I have goals to get a car soon, but before then I am going to save up for a hefty down payment.

Now, how I got to this part in life where I shook off my lazy bouts and decided to let God change me was long process starting from late high school days: senior year.There was no way in this universe you could get me in retail. I applied but no one ever called back. I didn’t really have a liking for retail nor food establishment and I believe God knew and understood.

I moved back to my old city of residence back in fall 2014 and got back into a lazy funk. This time it wasn’t the same lazy but more so, me asking God ‘What Now?’

‘God, What do I do now with my life?’

I believe everyone come to a certain point in there life, if not points, and ask God what do I do now.  It’s possible to ask every week even and I’ve learned ‘without exercised trust and faith in God, I will forever be lost.’ The previous year God took me through a patience exercise and I am a more patient than I have ever been in my life.

“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:14

I wanted to learn how to put my life on track for God, with God. My spirit was willing my flesh to get in order. I knew it took steps to get where I am today and it is going to take more steps to get further. In order to get to a place where I could not be lazy or a ‘parked car’, God had to first free me of my trouble some impatience with Him. I was a really impatient person, especially knowing that God was going to bless me with things He said and it’s been years I haven’t seen them yet. That ‘exercise’ was a pull and tug two year journey that I don’t want to go back through.

Almighty Grace and Mercy.

Brotherly Kindness & Gentleness were next. I lacked any kind of grace and mercy. I had no grace and didn’t even use the word, not even as a name. Mercy, I had very little of. I was shown mercy, yes, but I didn’t show mercy in return. This lack of knowledge led me to be very abrasive to others including family while being exceptionally harsh and judgmental of myself. Now before this sounds like a sob fest I must confess, I was very tough-skinned so my harsh nature with myself wasn’t shocking for me. I would combat myself, ‘You need to do better.” and sometimes it did get pretty rough and dirty, “I feel so stupid. I feel like a dumb person, as if I can’t learn.”

Like an Onion, Layer by Layer.

Once I passed though patience it was like God was stripping an onion. Layer by Layer. Patience was a big problem because I didn’t rely on people but God, the only problem was waiting. Brotherly Kindness was a bit more difficult. I was painfully, self aware, die hard loner. I remember in 2010 for valentines day, two of my sisters and I made a promise/pledge and they were sealed off with sentimental items. Mines from the both of them were pretty similar, I could see God moving; to break out of my shell and blossom into a young lady. I am the baby in the family, hence forth and forevermore always treated as the last to know and to see.

The point of the matter is I didn’t to break it. It was a promise I made to them both and with God as my witness. I didn’t want to break it and I still don’t. God used a moment while I was uprooted from the familiar and placed in the unfamiliar to get me to accept His true nature. His grace and mercy and I did. I am not completely there but I am working on it.

Next Self Control & Compassion. These two areas were harder than the two previous. I was really bad at telling myself ‘No!’ and really bad at sympathizing. Now, grace and mercy had helped me to soften up and meet people when they absolutely need it most. It also allowed God to use me and in the midst of that I became a licensed minister.

I was really having a rough time telling myself ‘No!’.

I am here! Right now in this moment, I am here. This day, this hour, this minute. I have defeated the ‘lack of self-control.’ All with the power and grace of Jesus Christ. It was hard. I have struggled with this for years, nine to be exact. Nine years of ‘Mary, Mary Quite Contrary!’. Nine years of disobedience and back and forth. Three weeks ago, I realized I lacked a few things of daily regimen of a child of God and the relationship I was seeking with the Lord…

I DON’T WANNA DO IT NOW!

No, lie there. That kind of attitude held me back for years and it made me mad that I let Satan con me like that. I wanted a deeper relationship with God, but I didn’t want to read the bible now, I didn’t want to pray or talk now. So many I don’t this, I don’t that… I wonder how I ever survived this life. In the three weeks that I stopped looking through my own eyes and through Christ’s, I watched my self skip, walk, trip, face plant in nasty dirty sin, and wash off and repeat the same process.

It was high time I quit!

It was time to change for good. To break free from the mold of the world and become a heavenly kingdom dweller. Earth isn’t my home it’s a stop on my journey, a heck of a long stop! I removed everything from me that was hindering Jesus Christ from using me. Let me repeat that, “I REMOVED EVERYTHING FROM ME THAT WAS HINDERING ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST.” At some point in your life you are going to have to sit your butt down and get really serious and question yourself and gain a new perspective, particularly Jesus Christs’ perspective.

I saw doors open up. During the Saturday evening prayer session I attended and my home life,even my relationship with Jesus. Doors are opening and it feels amazing and things look beautiful in this cracked world when you are looking through the eyes of Heaven. You know and see that God has a special plan for everything and everything must bow in the end to His glory. Compassion isn’t a far cry, but I haven’t mastered it either. I’m not around a lot of new people every day, but I get to practice on my tender-hearted sister. It’s a work in progress but I’m working on it.

All of this has led up to God bringing me back to my first love and that is to be a Veterinarian. I now work at a specialty pet hospital.

At no point in your life you should ever want to stop working on the You God intended you to be. Always keep at it and don’t give up. Jesus didn’t give up at the garden when he was taken into custody, so you don’t either. He didn’t give up at the cross, and he most assuredly didn’t give up at the grave. His work continues forever more as the Prince of Peace, giving us all we need to keep going.

A few tips for getting there:

  1. Don’t stop running the race of great faith.
  2. Don’t run too fast, you’ll miss everything and the journey is very important.
  3. Pace your self, the journey/run is long.
  4. Make sure to include Jesus 100% of the way. Always talk with Him. (Notice I said ‘with’ and not ‘to’.)
  5. Praise and thanksgiving will make it easier on you and will show God the glory and honor He deserves.
  6. Don’t be in denial! Biggest mistake you could eve make in your life.
  7. Don’t force it. Let God do all the cleansing and rearranging, just open up to him through bible study, prayer, and worship. Having a good group of God fearing friends around is a great way to stay motivated.
  8. Goals. Set Goals. Be realistic to your needs and wants. Also, It’s okay to miss a few, but jump right back on it.
  9. Every aspect of you life counts in this race, not just the inside: soul and spirit; but the outside: body, as well.
  10. Stay Motivated! This is so important. Satan will try all he can to take a child of God away from there inheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven. So keep at it. Some days you will need to be alone, others you will need to saturate yourself with people, make sure they are helpful to your spirit.

 

B’Sweet~Stay Faithful,

Annie ♥

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