God-Fidence

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. ~ Hebrews 11:1 NLT

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Faith is confidence! Period. If I could tell you how many times I’ve coward it public, you would think there was something wrong with me. Now I never made a physical attempt to draw back but a mental attempt. Something that take a lot of work. Always keeping my eyes straight ignoring the next person to look at me for whatever reason.

I won’t tell you I’m not a scaredy-cat. I won’t lie. In fact I’ll acknowledge that. For me I can gather up the courage to go, but what happens next? Where has my voice gone? Can anyone re-teach me how to communicate? For me, life is so difficult sometimes. I don’t think the people around me really know how jumbled my mind gets around new people. Especially when the conversation is going on and I have nothing else to say.

Hoping for something to happening, enhances faith, especially when we believe in it. When you work hard to put it into action. Now here is the added issue to my long time scardey-cat personality… I hope and hope and hope only to hoot my self down after hoping for what… about a month. Sometimes I feel like life is so far from me and hoping for too long becomes a tedious task. There is this notion, you see, this thought pattern of mine that I have burned. Now I am seeking Patience and Confidence… I am digging those ditches!

When I look at this lame excuse to stop hoping I lose my assurance. The exact thing that keeps my heart open to Jesus. The same thing that I use to hear from God is disconnected. I know this and yet, I still lose that connection, that Hope.

That was until I burned my plows…

I’ve learned this through many series of failed attempts to help myself. Sure enough I’m not a self-help guru and I wouldn’t like to meet one. They scare me more than faithful Humans. Now, there is this thing with faithful Humans… I am instantly drawn to them. I can’t stop listening to their wisdom, I am so amazed with their patience. It astonishes me how everyone at Melissa Taylor’s OBS is so kind and warm-hearted, and like me troubled in some way.

That was until we burned our plows…

God-fidence, We learned together. God-fidence is this amazing thing that pulled me out of my shoulda-coulda-woulda. It’s the process where I can apply as much faith as I can muster and sprinkle/or/douse some Hope in there and the finishing quality will be the assurance of what I can’t see, but the long-term Hope, I had in my heart.

The end quality is so beautiful, it makes me cry. The fact that I can move forward gives me a whole new leaf of confidence that it had to be renamed… God-fidence.

Annie ♥

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